Third Night

Tonight's best heckle:

ME: Does anyone here enjoy drugs?

MAD OLD BLOKE: I'd have to take some to enjoy your show, hurhahahahaha!

ME: Ah. Very good. That explains the syringe dangling freely from your eye socket, sir.

(MAD OLD BLOKE EXITS)

Bring 'em on, I say.

Also, it was the first free show of the run this afternoon. It was not bad - lovely, lovely crowd, including a reader of this very blog. Humbling.

Not only that, but we had time to squeeze in the Barack Obama bumsex joke in the paying show. Sounds fun, doesn't it? If you fancy coming, try and find me from about 7.45 outside The Caves - I'll try and sneak you in for cheap. Two for one. This week only. Then I'm not sure I'm allowed...

Jake

Second Night

Now I remember.

Now I remember what it's all for.

Having a lovely, lovely night, with a smashing crowd, when it doesn't feel like standup, it feels like a roomful of mates, and getting drunk and elated afterwards, and eating fish and chips in Grassmarket, staggering home, and knowing you won't sleep.

Now I remember why we went through the months of preparation, all the worry, all the angst.

For THIS! THIS! THIS!

This.

Ahhh, so thank you, God, Marx, humanity, friends, family, whatever it is that puts it all into place.

Yes, I am drunk.

Nighty-night.

Jake

xxx

First Night

Last night was the first night of Hallo, Music Lovers!

And it was not too bad. The venue was running horribly late, but we had a lovely crowd of people in.

The Caves are amazing. Waiting backstage as the audience came in, I gazed at the dripping stalactites on the walls. I am pretty sure if you wanted to, you could sink your fingers right into the walls. They seem to be made of chocolate mousse.

But the stage is reassuringly solid, made of robust flagstones, which give me the confidence to bust out my urban dance moves when the occasion presents itself.

The acoustics are a bit, well, 'cavey', but I have to say, they make my ukulele sound divine. If it is possible to make a ukulele sound divine.

All in all, we had some laughs. There's room for improvement, so roll on tonight!

Jake

Shameless Merch Plug

Hallo!

Good news! There is a brand new compilation album of some of Dora Dale's funniest stuff available on iTunes!

It features some of her choicest short pieces on radio, and it's material that has never been available before. It features Martin Kelner, her interviewer from Pleased to Meet You, and is pretty much the same sort of stuff.

If you buy the whole album, you also get to hear from two other characters - Bernard Rush, the Drinking Man's Alan Whicker, and Antony Ferrel, a young offender with an exuberant outlook on life.

There's even a never-before-broadcast tour round the home of Richard Whiteley with Dora Dale. It gets a little messy at the end...

Here's the link for iTunes:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=323624126&s=143444

Or if you'd rather do it through Amazon, it's there as well:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Jake-Yapp-Presents-Dora-Friends/dp/B002HT79OW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1249219274&sr=8-1

Enjoy!

Hey, and if you're in Edinburgh over the summer, look me up and come and say hello - I'm doing two shows up there, and Dora features in one of them.

Best wishes

Jake Yapp

Sliding into Darkness

Oh, this is wrong. And I mean Properly Wrong.

I was in Bristol a couple of weeks ago, and we got drunk on Pimms, and there was a skip.

So I said "Let's go Dumpster Diving!".

So we did.

What we found looked like something out of Lost. Amongst the busted office chairs, ceiling tiles and bits of carpet, there were dozens of wallets of slides.

So we took some.

And they are DARK, my friend. Here's a teaser for you:

It's the last one on that list that turns it into a SAW prequel, I think.

I shall post more. Some of them are really unpublishable. I am talking severed human feet. Not only that, but the names of the patients are written on the slides. Surely that is a bit wrong. Surely there must be such a thing as a Slide Shredder?

What I Am Doing In The Mornings

I hope the clement weather finds you well.

Some bits and pieces for you:

"Pleased to Meet You" the Sony-nominated radio show featuring my alter ego Dora Dale is enjoying some repeats on BBC Radio 7 - you can catch up here:

www.pleasegiveusanotherseries.com

Although I don't know of whom the photo is. One wouldn't have minded being consulted on such things... Ah well. Dora will be making her debut in Edinburgh this year... See below.

Also, Jake Yapp's Little Bits, my new, compact podcast is up to show ten (10) now - you can catch up here:

Podcasts

Work continues apace on the TWO (2) Edinburgh shows. I do hope you can come. I am doing previews on the 16th and 26th July at the Doghouse in Kennington, if you fancy it. Admission free and all that. If you'd like to read the little blurby bits about the shows, you can do so here, on the Edfringe website:

The Free One

The Expensive One

I am pleased to report I will be working with the preposterously affable Danny Wallace when he sits in for Adam and Joe on 6Music from July 11th. Do give the show a listen if you can. It'll be good!

Also, I am now an official voice over artist, registered with the lovely Emma Harvey of Harvey Voices. You can see my page and listen to samples here:

Posh Talk An Nat

And now, my cat has eaten my earphone, so I must go and buy a replacement.

Hugs!

Jake

Impressions That Must Never Be Done Again

I want legislation. The following impressions must be made illegal within the next 28 days. If you have a legal background, please get in touch.

Kermit the Frog

Frank Spencer

Sean Connery

Elmer Fudd

Tommy Cooper

Droopy

David Coleman

Roger Moore

Anyone from The Simpsons

Fred Flintstone

Robert de Niro

The Movie Voice Over Guy

Arnold Schwarzenegger

George Bush, especially with extrama syllamables

Any Other Muppets, especially Miss Piggy and Fozzie

Any Harry Enfield characters

Any Fast Show characters

David Brent

Bob Hoskins

Michael Caine

Clint Eastwood

David Attenborough

Are You Being Served?

Cartman and Any Other South Park Characters

Jeremy Clarkson

Trevor McDonald

Lenny Henry

Groucho Marx

Larry Grayson

Ronald Reagan

Margaret Thatcher

Mickey Mouse

Donald Duck

Robin Williams

Jack Nicholson

Yoda

Ozzy Osborne

Borat

Ali G

Bruno (coming onstream July 2009)

Family Guy

John Merrick

Beavis and Butthead

Marlon Brando

Anyone from Star Trek

Bad Lip-Synched Kung Fu Movies

Nelson Mandela

Bill Clinton

Little Britain

League of Gentlemen

Vic and Bob / Shooting Stars

Eddie Murphy

Bob Dylan

Michael Jackson

Johnny Cash

The Churchill Dog

Mr T

Offences should carry minimum 10 year sentence. Life for Kermit, Connery and Arnie. If you have any other suggestions for the list, please add them below...