I've put some Edinburgh pictures up...

...Should it be of the remotest interest to you. Just click on the title above...

Ta!

Jake

Eleventh Night

We are drinking gin.

It's all about the flyering. And it's hard work. And, currently, Mum and Dad are doing it all. For hours a day. Out in the elements. I am going to find some people to do some. Today mum flyered an old couple who were kissing.

"How nice to see people in love" she said.

"Ach," said the man, "D'ye like kissing then?"

"We-ell..." said mum.

And the man moved in and kissed my mother. Yes. I am whoring my mother out for this show. It is not right. She bravely said something about "It's fine, I washed when I got home..."

So not right.

On a sidenote, Facebook suggested I might like to be friends with Lisa Tarbuck today. I don't know why. I was very flattered, I'm sure. Out of interest, I clicked on her profile, and discovered she only has one friend. It's Ken Dodd.

I feel rather sorry for Lisa Tarbuck now. Should I be her friend?

We are trying a major change in the pay show tomorrow. Yipe!

Wish me luck...

Jake

Tenth Night

O heavenly gluttony!

O orgy of fat!

Tonight we have had FISH AND CHIPS and I have had RUM AND COKE MMMMMMM

I have been looking forward to this all week. NO 6Music work tomorrow. So tomorrow I am at liberty to LIE IN feeling REALLY POORLY.

And I SHALL. Make no mistake. Wicked.

I am enjoying the show more and more. Tonight we had 59 people in to the paying show. 59! Gorblimey. Never thought I would be able to revel in such a luxury.

The mime seems to be doing well. I hope I am not jinxing it. At any rate, it's ace fun to do.

And this evening I played the Pink Bus again. It's great. It's mad. The top deck of a bus that's been covered with crazy junk... And you stand at the top and look like a ticket inspector. I go MAD with the power. Come down! It's at the C Venue - Soco Urban Garden on Cowgate.

It is, however, a bit like a typical bus journey, in that there always seem to be one or two slightly strange people on board...

Anyway. I'm trashed. Nighty!

xxxxxxxxwickedxxx

Oh, yeah, and PS hello to the lovely couple who I am sure came to see me last year, and were at the afternoon show (particularly the gentleman who volunteered to be my personal trainer), and to lovely Melanie, for doing the double and coming to both shows!

Ninth Night

Four gigs and a breakfast show today.

Goodnight.

Eighth Night

Oh lord. Oh lordy. Lordy oh my lord.

There was a young man in the crowd this evening. And I am talking 8 or 9 years old.

I was knackered, and suddenly I am faced with a huge crowd, and A YOUNG BOY IN THE FRONT ROW.

Terrifying. So, rather than just getting through the set, I am going through it frantically trying to cut out all the rude and sweary bits... And I mostly managed to do it - and to be honest, it was a gift - until I got to the last bit. And then Neil came into his own. I said to him and his parents "This last song has a very strong word in it, will it be ok?"

And Neil said "Oh, don't worry, I hear it all the time at home..."

I salute my comedic superior.

Seventh Night

One of the loveliest things about being in Edinburgh this year has been meeting some of the 6Music listeners. There were a couple at The Caves this evening, and they were really smashing. And I can't remember their names now because I am a disingenuous prick. God dammit.

To be honest, it's all turning into a bit of a blur.

I would be completely stuck without my parents. We have a timetable drawn up on the back of the living room door where we're staying. It is mapped out to the hour. No kidding.

The average day runs like this:

6am - Get up, work on 6Music

10am - Do some sort of exercise

10.03am - Stop and practice smoking. Ok I am joking. Feebly. But it is late. Cut me some slack.

11am - Sleep

12pm - Get up, lunch, shower, etc

1pm - start flyering

4pm - Show 1

5pm - Flyer evening show

8pm - Show 2

9.30pm - Guest spot

11pm - Home

11.45 - Bed

I am beginning to tire - I can feel it. So how lucky I am to have the 'rents watching my back.

I swear to god, I finished lunch today, and I said to my father "What do I have to do next?" and he said "Now it is time to go to the toilet, and then we are going flyering".

We actually have bowel movements scheduled now.

I don't take that flippin' long.

I think I might be on BBC Scotland tomorrow! Crikles.

Jake

Sixth Night

I must confess that it is not without a little pride that I managed to hang onto two rather senior ladies throughout my free show this afternoon.

For people who don't like cuss-words, they still seemed to be chuckling away at my erotic prose, and my ukulele rendition of an extremely hardcore hip-hop number.

Full credit, of course, must go to them, for having splendidly open, and slightly dirty minds.

This evening's pay show at the Caves went well, too, with a small audience, but an appreciative one. It's a relief to know the show can still work with a smaller audience. Even when one of them is either doing an impression of a ghost, or really should have eaten before the show.

Night, all!

Jake